Sunday, November 14, 2010

Things I'm Not Too Keen On

...but can't get overly worked up about:

1) Comedy gigs - I really can't see the point in being in the same theatre as one bloke spouting off for two hours with his own 'amusing' take on the world. I might make an exception for Stewart Lee, but even then.

2) Novels that are more than 200-250 pages long. Really, you need to employ an editor. Most mainstream novels are just not that interesting enough that I need to spend that much time with them.

3) Indie music that sounds just like every other indie band that's around at the moment. Pretend indie, in other words, without an ounce of real originality. But I wouldn't turn it off the radio if it was on.

4) The kind of "art" you find in those private galleries in town, full of pictures of 'romantic' ballet dancers and 'cute' creatures. Art for people who don't really like art but have a space above the fireplace that needs filling. Actually, on second thoughts, anyone got a good flamethrower?

5) Poets with 'crazee' nom-de-plumes. Puh-leeze!

6) Most poetry published by Faber, Picador or Cape. File under mostly dull.

7) Lists. (Including this one)

8) Those 'Fifty Best TV Programmes About Grass' that keep getting repeated on More4.

9) Sequels/Prequels/Remakes of films that are never as good as the original. Or weren't even any good the first time around.

10) Rom-coms starring Jennifer Anniston, any other actor from Friends, or Steve Carrell Was Funny Once Carrell.


angelatopping said...

Grumpy old man in training, but hugely amusing, and I agree with most of these.


Richard Pryor is anyone's exception to no 1, and though you're probably right about Aniston's romantic comedies, Office Space is way above average - and not just because it has John C. McGinley in it -
. Re no 4, I have no probnlem with people who just like pictures they just like, unless they go on too much about how art "should lokk like something".
And, re point 5, is that a definite no to my suggested persona for you of Doris Karloff, the Gay Werewolf Poet? The costume - if it's as good as Terry Milligan's - would be great, and Warren Zevon could be your theme music. What's your howling like?

Steven Waling said...

No, Richard Pryor is not an exception, though I might give him a tad longer. Bring on the acrobats!


..."Queerwolf Poet"?